Best Cell Phones

Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.
Author: Epictetus

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
Author: Andy Rooney

Life is made up of sobs, sniffles and smiles, with sniffles predominating.
Author: O. Henry

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
Author: Albert Schweitzer

Man is born free, but everywhere he is in chains.
Author: Jean Jacques Rousseau

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first Blonde hands her the compact. She looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

Did you hear about the two females who were watching a blonde walk by? The first one said, "I wonder whether she's a natural blonde or a bleached blonde." Her friend said, "She's a suicide blonde." The other said, "Suicide blonde? What's that?" The friend said, "Dyed by her own hand!"
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

Why can't blondes make Kool Aid? Because they can't figure out how to get eight cups of water into that tiny little package.
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

One day a blonde woman was down on her luck and she needed a quick way to get money. She saw some kids playing and thought "Hey! Maybe I can kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom!" So she creeps up and snatches one. So she began to write a note: "I have kidnaped your son and I will give him back if you put 10,000$ on the north side of the tree in the park. Signed Blonde." She sticks the note on the kid and sends him home. The next day she goes to the north side of the tree and in a paper bag was 10, 000$. But there was a note inside saying: "How could you do this to a fellow blonde!?!"
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. "Oh, I really liked it," she said, "but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents." "What on earth do you mean???" "Well I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was: Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes