Best Cell Phones

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

What makes the engine go? Desire, desire, desire.
Author: Stanley Kunitz

What other dungeon is so dark as one's own heart! What jailer so inexorable as one's self!
Author: Nathaniel Hawthorne

What power would Hell have if those imprisoned there were not able to dream of Heaven?
Author: Neil Gaiman

What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living.
Author: Doug Larson

After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the telephone became their chief means of communication. When our phone bills showed astronomical increases, the other spouse and I sought relief. Since we both owned computers, we encourage our wives to use electronic mail. Now they call on the phone to let each other know that e-mail was sent, then call back to confirm that it arrived and have a conversation about the contents!
This is the joke from a category: Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

"Will I ever be able to race my horse again" the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you'll probably beat her too!"
This is the joke from a category: Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

Dear Boss, I hope I haven't misunderstood your instructions. Because to be honest, boss, none of this Y to K dates problem makes any sense to me. At any rate I have finished converting all the months on all the company calendars so that the year 2000 is ready to go with the following improved months: Januark, Februark, Mak, Julk. In addition, I have changed the days of the week, and they are now: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak and Saturdak. Is it enough, or should I change any other Y to K? I am a fan of the New York Yankees. Should I call them New Kork Kankees in order to be Y2K ready?
This is the joke from a category: Computer jokes

You have just received the "Kentucky Virus"!!! As we ain't got no programin' experience, this here Virus works on the honor system. Please delete all the files on your hard drive, and manually forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list. Thanks for your cooperation.
This is the joke from a category: Computer jokes

Dear God: Yesterday was an awful day for me... My husband ran off with his secretary, My son pierced his eyebrow, My daughter tattooed the bald spot on her head, My dog mated with the neighbors cat, My neighbor sold her house to a mental institution, My Mom told me I was adopted, My Dad told me he's gay, My boss told me I was laid off, My sister was arrested for prostitution, My house has termites, My car was stolen, All that came in the mail was bills, A plane, crash landed on my garage, OJ Simpson came to my door selling rug cleaner, And my TV blew. Lord, please be with me today. I was able to live through all that misery yesterday. And I will be able to make it through anything today! But please.... DON'T LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO MY COMPUTER!!!!! AMENA programmer enters an elevator, wanting to go to the 12th floor. So, he pushes 1, then he pushes 2, and starts looking for the Enter....
This is the joke from a category: Computer jokes