Best Cell Phones

There are two types of people--those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am!' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'
Author: Frederick L Collins

There are women who are for all your 'times of life.' They're the most wonderful sort.
Author: Henry James

There but for the grace of God go [I].
Author: John Bradford

Oh, that I had wings like a dove!
Author: Bible

There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's a plan for.
Author: Fred Hoyle

Q: When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building, which one hits the pavement first? A: Who cares!
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Sit in the back and don't play.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: Why is a violinist like a Scud missile? A: Both are offensive and inaccurate.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Two violinists make a pact that whoever dies first, he will contact the other and tell him what life in Heaven is like. Poor Max has a heart attack and dies. He manages to make contact with Abe the next day. Abe says, "I can't believe this worked! So what is it like in Heaven?" Max replies, "Well, it's great, but I've got good news, and I've got bad news. The good news is that there's a fantastic orchestra up here, and in fact, we're playing "Sheherezade," your favorite piece, tomorrow night!" Abe says, "So what's the bad news?" Max replies, "Well, you're booked to play the solo!"
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid? A: When the other tenors notice.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes