Best Cell Phones

A woman's whole life is a history of the affections.
Author: Washington Irving

A wretched soul, bruised with adversity, We bid be quiet when we hear it cry; But were we burdened with like weight of pain, As much or more we should ourselves complain.
Author: William Shakespeare

Abbott: Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third. Costello: That's what I want to find out.
Author: Bud Abbott

About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
Author: Gloria Pitzer

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Author: Sextus Propertius

A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a Coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go. The blonde turns around and shouts, "Can't you see I'm winning!"
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

A blonde comes home from a day of shopping and discovers that her house is on fire, so she calls the fire department on her cell phone. "Please state the nature of your emergency," says the operator. "Help! My house is on fire!" the blonde replies. "Okay, where do you live?" "In a house you silly billy!" the blonde replies. "No,no! How do we get there?" the operator asks fustratedly. "Duh! Big Red Truck!!"
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater? They went to see "Closed for Winter".
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

A blonde was going on a plane trip to New York. When the attendant came by and asked for her ticket, she told the blonde,"I'm sorry. Your ticket isn't for first class. Could you please move to your seat." The blonde replied,"Im blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." The attendant said,"That's fine miss, but you'll have to go to your seat." The blonde responded again, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." This conversation continued, always with the blonde's same response. The attendant got so upset that she went to the captain and told him about the blonde. The captain went and whispered something in the blonde's ear and the blonde immeadiately got up and went to her seat in coach. The attendant asked the captain how he got the stubborn blonde to move. He said, "I just told her that this part of the plane wasn't going to New York."
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes

One day there was a blonde riding a horse. The horse kept going faster and faster until the blonde fell off, with her foot getting stuck in the stirrup. Hearing her screams for help, finally a Wal-Mart clerk came over and turned off the merry-go-round.
This is the joke from a category: Blonde jokes