Best Cell Phones

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
Author: Paul Dirac

I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.
Author: Garry Shandling

To be willing to die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture.
Author: Anatole France

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
Author: Mark Twain

Marriage is part of a sort of 50's revival package that's back in vogue along with neckties and naked ambition.
Author: Calvin Trillin

What's Dracula's car called? A mobile blood unit.
This is the joke from a category: Vampire jokes

Do you know how to catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
This is the joke from a category: Vampire jokes

The frightened tourist: "Are there any bats in this cave?" The guide: "There were, but don't worry, the snakes ate all of them."
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

Two anthropologists fly to the south sea islands to study the natives. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work. A few months later one of them takes a canoe over to the other island to see how his colleague is doing. When he gets there, he finds the other anthropologist standing among a group of natives. "Greetings! How is it going?" says the visiting anthropologist. "Wonderful!" says the other, "I have discovered an important fact about the local language! Watch!" He points at a palm tree and says, "what is that?" The natives, in unison, say "Umbalo-gong!" He then points at a rock and says, "and that?" The natives again intone "Umbalo-gong!" "You see!", says the beaming anthropologist, "They use the SAME word for 'rock' and for 'palm tree'!" "That is truly amazing!" says the astonished visiting anthropologist, "On the other island, the same word means 'ind ex finger'!"
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes

"Look, guide, here are some LION tracks." "Good. You see where they go and I'll find out where they came from."
This is the joke from a category: Travel and tourist jokes