Best Cell Phones

Don't look back: Something may be gaining on you.
Author: Satchel Paige

Don't reserve your best behavior for special occasions. You can't have two sets of manners, two social codes - one for those you admire and want to impress, another for those whom you consider unimportant. You must be the same to all people.
Author: Lillian Eichler Watson

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
Author: George Burns

Don't think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drives into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Let him come out as I do, and bark.
Author: Samuel Johnson

Don't try to solve serious matters in the middle of the night.
Author: Philip K. Dick

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
This is the joke from a category: Ethnic jokes

Q: How do you take census in a Polish village? A: Roll a quarter down the street, count the legs, divide by two, and subtract one for the Jew who catches it.
This is the joke from a category: Ethnic jokes

An American tourist was visiting a quaint country village, and got talking to a farmer in the local pub. "And have you lived here all your life, Sir?" asked the American. "Not yet, m'dear," said the farmer wisely.
This is the joke from a category: Ethnic jokes

Q: How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One, but you have to pry him off the sheep first. A: Two - one to say "She'll be right mate" and one to fetch the beers. A: 16. One to change the bulb and 15 to say "Good on yer, mate!"
This is the joke from a category: Ethnic jokes

Q: How many Englishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: What do you mean change it? It's a perfectly good bloody bulb! We have had it for a thousand years and it has worked just *fine*.
This is the joke from a category: Ethnic jokes