Best Cell Phones

When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.
Author: Marquis de la Grange

When we hear news we should always wait for the sacrament of confirmation.
Author: Voltaire

My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence.
Author: Edith Sitwell

I have gained this by philosophy: that I do without being commanded what others do only from fear of the law.
Author: Aristotle

When you are not physically starving, you have the luxury to realize psychic and emotional starvation.
Author: Cherrie Moraga

The cross eyed judge looked at the three defendants in the dock and said to the first one, "So how do you plead?" "Not guilty" said the second defendant. "I wasn't talking to you" the judge replied. "I never said a word" the third defendant replied.
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.00. "That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That's still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap." The clerk handed him a mirror.
This is the joke from a category: King Kong jokes

Knock Knock Who's there ! Aardvark ! Aardvark who ? Aardvark a million miles for one of your smiles !
This is the joke from a category: Knock Knock jokes

A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor. "Which side is it best to lie on?" she asked. "The side that pays your fee," replied the doctor.
This is the joke from a category: Lawyer jokes

Crazy Aunt Maud received a letter one morning, and upon reading it burst into floods of tears. "What's the matter?" asked her companion. "Oh dear," sobbed Auntie, "It's my favorite nephew. He's got three feet." "Three feet?" exclaimed her friend. "Surely that's not possible?" "Well," said Auntie, "his mother's just written to tell me he's grown another foot !"
This is the joke from a category: Letter jokes