Best Cell Phones

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Author: Noel Coward

The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good.
Author: Robert Graves

If any thing is sacred the human body is sacred.
Author: Walt Whitman

The reward of one duty is the power to fulfill another.
Author: George Eliot

The road to hell is paved with adverbs.
Author: Stephen King

"And how's yer wife, Pat?" "Sure, she do be awful sick." "Is ut dangerous she is?" "No, she's too weak t' be dangerous anymore!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

An Irish couple, whose married bliss was not without a few "squalls" received a humble lecture from their priest regarding their disgraceful quarrels. "Why, that dog and cat you have agree better than you." "If yer reverence'll tie them together, ye'll soon change yer mind."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he announces, "My dear guests . . . I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge alive!" As soon as he finished his last word, there was the sound of a large splash!! There was one guy in the pool swimming with all he could and screaming out of fear. The crowd cheered him on as he kept stroking as though he was running for his life. Finally, he made it to the other side with only a torn shirt and some minor injuries. The millionaire was impressed. He said, "My boy that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well I must keep my end of the bargain. Do you want my daughter or the one million dollars?" The guy says, "Listen, I don't want your money, nor do I want your daughter! I want the person who pushed me in that water!"
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But, officer," the man began, "I can explain" "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back." "But, officer, I just wanted to say" "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes

In olden times, it is reported that sacrifices were made at the altar. Since then, weddings have been held there, and times haven't changed at all!
This is the joke from a category: Marriage jokes