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The day is for honest men, the night for thieves.
Author: Euripides

Nature does nothing uselessly.
Author: Aristotle

The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
Author: William Shakespeare

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
Author: Victor Borge

The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.
Author: Terry Pratchett

An accountant dies and goes to Heaven. He is met by St Peter who goes through the usual questionnaire. "What sort of accountant are you?" says St Peter "Public Practitioner," is the reply. "Name?" He gives his name. St Peter goes through some files and pulls one out. "Oh, yes. We've been expecting you. You've reached your allotted span," says St Peter. "How can that be?" says the accountant. "I'm too young to go. I'm only forty-eight" "No, that's impossible. " "Why do you say that?" "Well we've been looking at your time sheets and the hours you've charged your clients. By our reckoning you're at least ninety three."
This is the joke from a category: Heaven and hell jokes

Q. Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? A. Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
This is the joke from a category: Heaven and hell jokes

An angel in heaven was welcoming a new arrival. "How did you get here?" he asked. And the new angel replied, "Flu..."
This is the joke from a category: Heaven and hell jokes

Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!
This is the joke from a category: Horse jokes

Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?
This is the joke from a category: Horse jokes