Best Cell Phones

Things do not change; we change.
Author: Henry David Thoreau

Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.
Author: Anne Frank

I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there.
Author: Herb Caen

This art of resting the mind and the power of dismissing from it all care and worry is probably one of the secrets of energy in our great men.
Author: Captain J. A. Hadfield

Recently, a distraught wife went to the local police station, along with her next-door neighbor, to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the missing man. The wife said, "He is 35 years old, 6-foot 4-inches, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children." The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5-foot 8-inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your children." The wife replied, "Yes, but who wants HIM back?"
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

On a narrow mountain's road a man saw a police car driving uphill backwards. - Hi guys. Why are you driving backwards? - Because we are not sure that we will find the place to make u-turn on the top of the mountain. After one hour the same man saw the same police car driving downhill backwards again. - But guys, why are you driving backwards again? - We have found the place to make u-turn up there.
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?" "No," says the cop. "What about all these other cars?" "They didn't ask!"
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

One evening this Columbia Yuppie was stopped for allegedly drunken driving and was given a breath test by the Howard County Police. "Well ?" he asked somewhat belligerently as the Desk Sergeant slowly read the print out and entered the information in the arrest record. "Disappointing to say the least," the Sergeant replied. "Chateau Duvalier... 1962... rather thin... not aged well at all."
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes

A seargent is interviewing three cadets who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first cadet a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first cadet answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The seargent says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second cadet and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The second cadet smiles, and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?!" Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third cadet and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The cadet looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses." The seargent is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?" "That's easy," the cadet replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
This is the joke from a category: Police jokes