Best Cell Phones

In addition to my other numerous acquaintances, I have one more intimate confidant. My depression is the most faithful mistress I have known -- no wonder, then, that I return the love.
Author: Soren Kierkegaard

In all the affairs of life, social as well as political, courtesies of a small and trivial character are the ones which strike deepest to the grateful and appreciating heart.
Author: Henry Clay

In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from.
Author: Peter Ustinov

In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.
Author: Mogens Jallberg

In every American there is an air of incorrigible innocence, which seems to conceal a diabolical cunning.
Author: A. E. Housman

Q: How many Librans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Why change the bulb? Isn't it more romantic in the dark?
This is the joke from a category: Zodiac jokes

Q: How many Sagittarians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: A whole bunch: I can only keep them in the room long enough for them to give the bulb a quarter turn apiece.
This is the joke from a category: Zodiac jokes

Q: How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb? A: So who wants to know? Why do *you* want to know? Are you a cop?
This is the joke from a category: Zodiac jokes

Q: How many Virgos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Let's see: One to spot the bulb, one to record the time the bulb burned out and the date it was bought, one to decide who's fault it is the bulb burned out and ask why that brand was chosen in the first place, ten to decide to remodel the house as long as they're changing the bulb
This is the joke from a category: Zodiac jokes

Yo mama so bald you can see whats on her mind
This is the joke from a category: Yo momma jokes