Best Cell Phones

Senescent judges show how patriotic they are by passing out hard sentences for tearing up a draft card or following one's conscience according to the principles established by our country at the Nuremburg trials.
Author: Albert Szent-Gyorgyi

Sometimes you feel other people's pain worse than your own. We're armored against our own troubles. We can't afford to give in to despair. Then you see someone else struggling, and it breaks your... heart.
Author: Sean Stewart

Sorrow was like the wind. It came in gusts.
Author: Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings

I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter.
Author: Steven Pearl

Speak to me as to thy thinkings, As thou dost ruminate, and give thy worst of thoughts The worst of words.
Author: William Shakespeare

Q: What is Iraq's national bird? A: Duck.
This is the joke from a category: Ethnic jokes

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings them over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, definitely Caucasian white baby boy! "Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents. "What will you name the baby"? The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him Sum Ting Wong!
This is the joke from a category: Ethnic jokes

A Scottish man, an Englishman and an Irishman were sitting in a pub discussing the best pubs around. The Englishman says, ''There's a pub in the West Midlands where the landlord buys you a drink for every that you buy.'' The Scot is not impressed and says, ''That's nothing! In the Highlands every time you buy a drink the landlord buys you five.'' At this point the Englishman is fairly impressed. The Irishman, totally unimpressed, says ''That's nothing. In Dublin there's this pub where the landlord buys your drinks all night, and then when the bar shuts he takes you into a room and makes love to you.'' The Scot and Englishman are well impressed and ask if the Irishman goes there a lot. He replies ''No, but my sister told me about it.''
This is the joke from a category: Ethnic jokes

Once there were two chinese gentlemen named Mr. Ho and Mr. Chen. They were neighbors but happened to be very competitive. One day Mr. Ho decided to start a shoe business, he named his store WE DO SHOE. now Mr. Chen decided he must compete with Mr. Ho, so he started a shoe business right next door to Mr. Ho's store and he named it SHOE DO WE.
This is the joke from a category: Ethnic jokes

Q: What's the capital of Afghanistan? A: KABOOM!!
This is the joke from a category: Ethnic jokes