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Do you think that the things people make fools of themselves about are any less real and true than the things they behave sensibly about? They are more true: they are the only things that are true.
Author: George Bernard Shaw

Don't accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange.
Author: Robin Morgan

Don't be a fool and die for your country. Let the other sonofabitch die for his.
Author: George S. Patton

Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.
Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got.
Author: Janis Joplin

A little boy came running into the kitchen. "Dad, dad," he said, "there's a monster at the door with a really ugly face." "Tell him you've already got one," said his father.
This is the joke from a category: Face jokes

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now we've caught you and we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then we're going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die." The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through. The Englishman says, "a pistol for me please." The chief gives him a pistol, the Englishman points it at his head and says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork!" The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over--the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There is blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled and asks, "My God, what are you doing?" And the New Yorker responds, "So much for your canoe you stupid cannibal!
This is the joke from a category: Ethnic jokes

Q: What happened when the elephant sat on the car? A: Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!
This is the joke from a category: Elephant jokes

A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them." "That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."
This is the joke from a category: Ethnic jokes

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French." "No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian."
This is the joke from a category: Ethnic jokes