Best Cell Phones

An orator is a man who says what he thinks and feels what he says.
Author: William Jennings Bryan

An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions.
Author: Robert A. Humphrey

Anarchism is founded on the observation that since few men are wise enough to rule themselves, even fewer are wise enough to rule others.
Author: Edward Abbey

And Charlie, don't forget about what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he ever wanted. He lived happily ever after.
Author: Roald Dahl

And in that line now was a whiskered old man, with a linen cap and a crooked nose, who waited in a place called the Stardust Band Shell to share his part of the secret of heaven: that each affects the other and the other affects the next, and the world is
Author: Mitch Albom

A driver, obviously drunk, was heading the wrong way down a one-way street when a policeman pulled him over. "Didn't you see the arrow, buddy?" he asked. "An arrow?" the confused driver said. "I didn't even see the Indians
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

A young bloke has started work on a property, and the boss sends him up the back paddocks to do some fencing work, but come evening he's half an hour late. The boss gets on the CB radio to check if he's all right. "I've got a problem, Boss. I'm stuck 'ere. I've hit a pig!" "Ah well, these things happen sometimes," the boss says. "Just drag the carcass off the road so nobody else hits it in the dark." "But he's not dead, boss. He's gotten tangled up on the bull bar, and I've tried to untangle him, but he's kicking and squealing, and he's real big boss. I'm afraid he's gonna hurt me!" "Never mind," says the boss. "There's a .303 under the tarp in the back. Get that out and shoot him. Then drag the carcass off the road and come on home." "Okay, boss." Another half an hour goes by, but there's still not a peep from the young fella. The boss gets back on the CB. "What's the problem, son?" "Well, I did what you said boss, but I'm still stuck." "What's up? Did you drag the pig off the road like I said?" "Yeah boss, but his motorcycle is still jammed under the truck."
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

What do you say to a one legged hitch-hiker? Hop in.
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

What is evil and ugly and goes at 125 mph? A witch in a high speed train.
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

What do you call a witch who drives really badly? A road hag.
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes