Best Cell Phones

If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches.
Author: Rainer Maria Rilke

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
Author: Steven Wright

The most difficult character in comedy is that of a fool, and he must be no simpleton who plays the part.
Author: Miguel de Cervantes

I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crises. The great point is to bring them the real facts.
Author: Abraham Lincoln

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.
Author: Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.

Judge: All your responses to the questions must be oral. Do you understand? A: Yes Judge: What school did you attend in the fall of 1995? A: Oral.
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes

Judge: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are on dead people.
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes

Judge to witness: "And where was the location of the accident?" Witness: "Approximately milepost 499." Judge:: "And where is milepost 499?" Witness: "About halfway between milepost 498 and milepost 500."
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes

When is an English teacher like a judge? When she hands out long sentences.
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes

How is a judge like an English teacher? They both hand out long sentences.
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes