Best Cell Phones

Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.
Author: Reggie Leach

Success only hurts the first time.
Author: Randy K. Milholland

Such praise coming from so degraded a source, was degrading to me, its recipient.
Author: Cicero

Sure i'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day.
Author: Lillian Carter

Sweet are the uses of adversity, which, like a toad, though ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in its head.
Author: William Shakespeare

A farmer was interviewing a young man for the job of assistant farmhand. `You'll need to be fit,' said the farmer. `Have you ever had any illnesses? Any accidents?' 'No, sir,' replied the young man proudly. `But you're on crutches. You must have had an accident!' said the farmer. `Oh, the crutches!' said the young man. `A bull tossed me last week. But that wasn't an accident! He did it on purpose!'
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes

Q: When is a farmer like a magician? A: When he turns his cow to pasture.
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes

Why was the farmer hopping mad ? Because someone had trodden on his corn !
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer? A dressmaker sews what she gathers, a farmer gathers what he sows.
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes

Farmer Brown put up a pig-shaped weather vane, but he's not happy with it. Instead of pointing with the wind, the pig vane keeps pointing toward the feed trough.
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes