Best Cell Phones

I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction.
Author: Ayn Rand

I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.
Author: Harry S Truman

I never have found the perfect quote. At best I have been able to find a string of quotations which merely circle the ineffable idea I seek to express.
Author: Caldwell O'Keefe

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Author: Henny Youngman

I paint my own reality. The only thing I know is that I paint because I need to, and I paint whatever passes through my head without any other consideration.
Author: Frida Kahlo

Q: What is the difference between a viola and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories? A: Violists.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: Which positions does a violist use? A: First, third, and emergency.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

A violist comes home late at night to discover fire trucks, police cars, and a smoking crater where his house used to be. The chief of police comes over to him and tells him, "While you were out, the conductor came to your house, killed your family, and burned the house down." The violist replied, "You're kidding! The conductor came to my house?"
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: Why does a viola burn longer than a violin? A: It is usually still in the case.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes