Best Cell Phones

If all the world hated you and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved of you and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends.
Author: Charlotte Bronte

If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared.
Author: Niccolo Machiavelli

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
Author: Mario Andretti

If God had really intended men to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport.
Author: George Winters

If I was more complacent and I let things slide, my life would be easier, but you all wouldn't be as entertained. My misery is your pleasure.
Author: Kanye West

How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden? Hide the ball, it drives them nuts!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas? Ince pies!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

What stories are told by basketball players? Tall stories!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

Where do footballers dance? At a football!
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes

There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau. Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line. Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?" The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan." The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?" The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."
This is the joke from a category: Sport jokes