Best Cell Phones

If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter.
Author: Terry Pratchett

If you live long enough, the venerability factor creeps in; first, you get accused of things you never did, and later, credited for virtues you never had.
Author: I. F. Stone

If you take care of your character, your reputation will take care of itself.
Author: American Proverb

If you treat people right they will treat you right - ninety percent of the time.
Author: Franklin D. Roosevelt

If you want peace, stop fighting. If you want peace of mind, stop fighting with your thoughts.
Author: Peter McWilliams

What is a buttress? A female goat.
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes

What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn? A Moles Royce.
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes

Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes

This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little S's painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
This is the joke from a category: Various animal jokes