Best Cell Phones

The only man, woman, or child who ever wrote a simple declarative sentence with seven grammatical errors is dead.
Author: e e cummings

Where the speech is corrupted, the mind is also.
Author: Seneca

Precept upon precept; line upon line: here a little, and there a little.
Author: Bible

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
Author: Samuel Goldwyn

How much time he saves who does not look to see what his neighbor says or does or thinks.
Author: Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
This is the joke from a category: Yo momma jokes

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out. When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?" The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!"
This is the joke from a category: Zoo jokes

Read more Aardvark jokes
This is the joke from a category: Aardvark jokes

A minister gave a talk to the Lions Club on sex. When he got home, he couldn't tell his wife that he had spoken about sex, so he said he had discussed horseback riding with the members. A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center and they complimented her on the speech her husband had made. She said, "Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter, as he's only tried it twice. The first time he got so sore he could hardly walk, and the second time he fell off."
This is the joke from a category: Funny jokes - 50 best jokes

YOUR SO BALD THAT WHEN YOU WHERE A TURTLENECK YOU LOOK LIKE A ROLL ON DEODORANT.
This is the joke from a category: Funny jokes - 50 best jokes