Best Cell Phones

Man is what he eats.
Author: Ludwig Feuerbach

Nobody has things just as he would like them. The thing to do is to make a success with what material I have. It is a sheer waste of time and soulpower to imagine what I would do if things were different. They are not different.
Author: Dr. Frank Crane

Nobody talks so constantly about God as those who insist that there is no God.
Author: Heywood Broun

None are so busy as the fool and knave.
Author: John Dryden

Not being able to govern events, I govern myself.
Author: Michel de Montaigne

While driving along the back roads of a small town, two truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11'3." They got out and measured their rig, which was 12'4." "What do you think?" one asked the other. The driver looked around carefully, then shifted into first. "Not a cop in sight. Let's take a chance!"
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use? A: Your car.
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem? A: Carry loaded weapons.
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

After seeing a documentary on how inner city youths can remove the wheels of cars in under 4 seconds with no specialist equipment, the McLaren team decided to fire their pit crew and hire four of the youths as most races can be won or lost in the pit lane. The first race came along and the car came into the pits. The youths went to work but the McLaren team boss noticed a real problem. Not only had the youths replaced all four wheels within four seconds, but within 10 seconds, they'd re-sprayed and re-numbered the car and sold it to the Ferrari Team!
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes

Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee, listening to the weather report coming over the radio. "There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared," the weather report said. "You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." Ole says "Jeez, okay," and gets up from his coffee. The next day they're sitting down with their morning cups of coffee and the weather forecast declares "There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the even numbered side of the streets." Again, Ole says "Jeez, okay," and gets up from his coffee. Two days later, again they're sitting down with their cups of coffee and the weather forecast says, "There will be 6 to 9 inches of snow today, and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the - " Just then the power goes out and Ole doesn't get the rest of the instructions. He turns to Lena and says "Jeez, what am I going to do now, Lena?" Lena replies "Aw, Ole, why don't you just leave the car in the garage today?"
This is the joke from a category: Car and train jokes