Best Cell Phones

It's no use carrying an umbrella if your shoes are leaking.
Author: Irish Proverb

It's not foresight or hindsight we need. We need sight, plain and simple. We need to see what is right in front of us.
Author: Real Live Preacher

It's not the voting that's democracy, it's the counting.
Author: Tom Stoppard

It's the place where my prediction from the sixties finally came true: "In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." I'm bored with that line. I never use it anymore. My new line is, "In fifteen minutes everybody will be famous."
Author: Andy Warhol

It's traditional for an heiress to be raised in a sheltered way. No one thinks that's true of me, but it actually was.
Author: Paris Hilton

Two Canadian guys, Mike and Rob were on the roof, laying tile, when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their ladder. "I have an idea," said Mike. "We'll throw you down, and then you can pick up the ladder." "What, do you think I'm stupid? I have an idea. I'll shine my flashlight, and you can climb down on the beam of light." "What, do you think I'm stupid? You'll just turn off the flashlight when I'm halfway there."
This is the joke from a category: Idiot and fool jokes

What goes hum-choo, hum choo? A bee with a cold !
This is the joke from a category: Insect jokes

What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.
This is the joke from a category: Internet jokes

A car was involved in an accident in a street. As expected a large crowd gathered. A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story could not get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim." The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.
This is the joke from a category: Journalist jokes

The cross eyed judge looked at the three defendants in the dock and said to the first one, "So how do you plead?" "Not guilty" said the second defendant. "I wasn't talking to you" the judge replied. "I never said a word" the third defendant replied.
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes