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I have gotten a lot more attention than...other women that I find incredibly beautiful. And this has happened to me ever since I was a girl, when I was flat, had no teeth, was skinny and small as I could be. I always got more attention than anyone else. I
Author: Salma Hayek

I have learned to use the word 'impossible' with the greatest caution.
Author: Wernher von Braun

I have lost friends, some by death... others through sheer inability to cross the street.
Author: Virginia Woolf

I have never been hurt by anything I didn't say.
Author: Calvin Coolidge

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Author: Mark Twain

Q: How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 22, one to screw it in, 21 to shoot the bulb.
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

A destroyer pulled into a foreign port, and put down maximum liberty. The skeleton crew didn't notice a chimpanzee, escaped from a nearby civilian transport, crawled up the ropes and up to the smokestack. Down the stack, it made its way into the engine room. It came across a power panel opened up for maintenance, couldn't read the warning signs, and with a bright blue blast shorted out the ship's electrical system, and plunged the ship into darkness. A little bit later, two junior Hull Technicians wander down with their flashlights, looking for the problem. They come upon the blackened body of the chimp. They shine their flashlights on its long, burnt arms. They look at each other. They highlight its short legs and odd feet. They look at each other. Finally one says, "Well, it's too hairy to be an Electrician, the legs are too short for a Hull Tech, and there would be more tatoos on a Bo'su n. Call the wardroom, see if one of the duty officers is missing."
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Soldier Ivanov was ordered to peel a barrel of potatos. - In this day and age, the army should have a machine to peel potatos, complains Ivanov. - Absolutely, answered the sergeant. And you are its latest model.
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common ? A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from !
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes

Q: What's the difference between Aeroflot and the Scud Missile ? A: Aeroflot has killed more people.
This is the joke from a category: Military jokes