Best Cell Phones

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Author: Groucho Marx

I once said, "We will bury you," and I got into trouble with it. Of course we will not bury you with a shovel. Your own working class will bury you.
Author: Nikita Khrushchev

I have no need of your God-damned sympathy. I only wish to be entertained by some of your grosser reminiscences.
Author: Alexander Woollcott

I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.
Author: Frederick Douglass

I passionately hate the idea of being with it, I think an artist has always to be out of step with his time.
Author: Orson Welles

Two bishops were discussing the decline in morals in the modern world. "I didn't sleep with my wife before I was married," said one clergyman self-righteously, "Did you?" "I don't know," said the other. "What was her maiden name?"
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes

A drunk man who smelled like a beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was smeared with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began to read. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked 'Say Father, what causes arthritis?' The priest replies 'My son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol and comtempt for your fellow man' 'Well I'll be darned' the drunk muttered, returning to his newspaper. The priest thinking about what he said, nudged the drunk and apologised. 'I'm sorry to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?' 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes

Q: Why did God create man before woman? A: He didn't want any advice.
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes

A Baptist missionary was walking in Africa when he heard the ominous padding of a lion behind him. "Oh Lord," prayed the missionary, "Grant in Thy goodness that the lion walking behind me is a good Christian lion." And then, in the silence that followed, the missionary heard the lion praying too: "Oh Lord," he prayed, "I thank Thee for the food which I am about to receive."
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes

Delivering a speech at a banquet on the night of his arrival in a large city, a visiting minister told several anecdotes he expected to repeat at meetings the next day. Because he wanted to use the jokes again, he requested the reporters to omit them from any accounts they might turn in to their newspapers. A cub reporter, in commenting on the speech, ended his piece with the following: "The minister told a number of stories that cannot be published."
This is the joke from a category: Religious jokes