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Best quotes to send by SMS
A feeling of real need is always a good enough reason to pray.Author: Hannah Whitall Smith
A fine quotation is a diamond on the finger of a man of wit, and a pebble in the hand of a fool.Author: Joseph Roux
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson
A friend is one before whom I may think aloud.Author: Ralph Waldo Emerson
A friend told me that each morning when we get up we have to decide whether we are going to save or savor the world. I don't think that is the decision. It's not an either-or, save or savor. We have to do both, save and savor the world.Author: Kate Clinton
The best jokes to send by SMS
An out-of-towner drove his
car into a ditch
in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to
help with his
big strong horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car
and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!"
Buddy didn't move.
Then
the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't
respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the
horse
easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was
most appreciative and very curious. He asked the
farmer why he
called his horse by the wrong name three times.
"Well... Buddy is
blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling,
he wouldn't
even try!"This is the joke from a category: Blind jokes
Q: How did a blind man
meet his
wife?
A: On a blind date!This is the joke from a category: Blind jokes
What is the difference between a blind man and a
sailor
in prison?
One can't see to go, the other can't go to
sea.This is the joke from a category: Blind jokes
A snake
and a rabbit were racing along a
pair of intersecting forest pathways
one day, when they collided at
the intersection. They immediately began
to argue with one another as
to who was at fault for the mishap.
When the snake remarked
that he had been blind since birth, and thus
should be given
additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been
blind since birth.
The two animals then forgot about the collision and
began
commiserating concerning the problems of being blind.
The snake said
that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity.
He had never
been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that
reason did
not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was.
The
rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they
could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from
head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal w
as.
The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around
the rabbit.
After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very
soft, fuzzy fur,
long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for
a tail. I think that
you must be a bunny rabbit!"
The
rabbit was much relieved to find his identity, and proceeded to
return
the favor to the snake. After feeling about the snake's body for a
few minutes, he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've
got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and
you've
got a forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"This is the joke from a category: Blind jokes
Q:
How did a blind woman pierce her
ear?
A: Answering the stapler.This is the joke from a category: Blind jokes