The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back.
Author: Franklin P. Jones

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.
Author: Robert Benchley

The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
Author: Oscar Wilde

The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanely sensitive. To them... a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and
Author: Pearl Buck

In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known.
Author: Thomas Pickering

Mrs. Filmore returned home from a business trip and asked her husband, "How did Greg do on his history exam?" "Oh, not so good," he replied. "But it wasn't his fault. They asked him about things that happened before he was born!"
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

Mrs. Ellis came home from work one evening to find her three-year-old son lighting up a cigar. She raced into the kitchen where her husband was making dinner. "Hey!" she announced. "This is terrible! I just caught Matthew lighting a cigar!" "You put a stop to that right now," he shouted. "That kid is altogether too young to be playing with matches!"
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

Boy: Dad, Dad, come out. My sister's fighting this ten foot gargoyle with three heads. Dad: No, I'm not coming out. She's going to have to learn to look after herself.
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

Pride is what you feel when your kids net $143 from a garage sale. Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing.
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for mother's day? What did they do? They threw a sowprize party.
This is the joke from a category: Pig jokes