The trouble with America is that there are far too many wide-open spaces surrounded by teeth.
Author: Charles Luckman

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all.
Author: H. L. Mencken

Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better.
Author: Anonymous

I'm youth, I'm joy, I'm a little bird that has broken out of the egg.
Author: James M. Barrie

The true spirit of delight, the exaltation, the sense of being more than Man, which is the touchstone of the highest excellence, is to be found in mathematics as surely as in poetry.
Author: Bertrand Russell

A small boy is sent to bed by his father... [Five minutes later] "Da-ad..." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." [Five minutes later] "Da-aaaad..." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!" [Five minutes later] "Daaaa-aaaAAAAD..." "WHAT??!!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

Why are parents boring? Because they're groan-ups.
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

Tad looked up from the book on ancient history he was reading and asked his father, "Pop, what's a millennium?" "Well," he muttered, "I think it's something like a centennial, only it has more legs!"
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

"Papa, who was Hamlet?" "You birdbrain! Bring me the Bible and I'll show you who he was."
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

An irate father stormed into the principal's office. "I demand to know," he screamed, "why my son Winslow was given a zero on his English examination." "Now, don't get excited," said the principal. "We'll get your Winslow's English teacher in here. I'm sure she has some explanation." A few minutes later, the English teacher arrived. "Why did you give Winslow a zero on his English final?" demanded the father. "I had no choice," said the schoolmarm. "He handed in a blank paper with absolutely nothing on it." "That's no excuse," shouted the father. "You could have at least given him an 'A' for neatness!"
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes