The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
Author: Franklin P. Jones

Man is free in his imagination, but bound by his reason.
Author: Israel Lipkin

The true traveler is he who goes on foot, and even then, he sits down a lot of the time.
Author: Colette

The truth is that all of us attain the greatest success and happiness possible in this life whenever we use our native capacities to their greatest extent.
Author: Dr. Smiley Blanton

The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt.
Author: Thomas Merton

Talbot and his son James were called to Mrs. Cren-shaw's classroom. "Mr. Talbot," said the teacher, "I asked James 'Who shot Abraham Lincoln?' and he said that he didn't do it!" "Well, teacher," said Talbot, "if my kid said he didn't do it he didn't do it!" Father and son left the school, and on their way home Talbot turned to the boy and asked, "Tell me, son, did you do it?" '
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

"Honey," said Mrs. Beldon to her husband, "Lester's teacher says he ought to have an encyclopedia." "Encyclopedia, my eye!" exclaimed Beldon. "Let him walk to school like I did."
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

During a flood in a small Ohio town, a young girl was perched on top of a house with a little boy. As they sat watching articles float along with the water, they noticed a baseball cap float by. Suddenly, the cap turned and came back, then turned around and went downstream. After it had gone some distance, it turned again and came back. "Do you see that baseball cap?" said the girl. "First it goes downstream, then turns around and comes back." "Oh, that's my dad," replied the boy. "This morning he said that come hell or high water, he was going to cut the grass today."
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to his father's annoyance. 'Teddy,' he called, 'how many more times have I got to tell you to come down the stairs quietly? Now, go back up and come down like a civilised human being.' There was a silence, and Teddy reappeared in the front room. 'That's better,' said his father. 'Now will you always come down stairs like that?' 'Suits me,' said Teddy. 'I slid down the bannister.'
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

Girl: Mom, mom a monster's just bitten my foot off. Mom: Well, keep out of the kitchen, I've just washed the floor.
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes