The trick is not how much pain you feel - but how much joy you feel. Any idiot can feel pain. Life is full of excuses to feel pain, excuses not to live, excuses, excuses, excuses.
Author: Erica Jong

The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time.
Author: Willem de Kooning

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
Author: Terry Pratchett

Live Free Or Die; Death Is Not The Worst Of Evils.
Author: General John Stark

Judgement, not passion should prevail.
Author: Epicharmus

There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma. Her husband was away on business, and unable to be reached. While in the coma, she gave birth to her twins, and the only person around to name her children was her brother. When the mother came out of her coma to find she had given birth and that her brother had named the twins, she became very worried, because he wasn't a very bright guy. She was sure he had named them something absurd or stupid. When she saw her brother she asked him about the twins. He said, "The first one was a girl." The mother: "What did you name her?!?" Brother: "Denise!" The Mom: "Oh, wow, that's not bad! What about the second one?" Brother: "The second one was a boy." The Mom: "Oh, and what did you name him?" Brother: "Denephew."
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool. "Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool." "Oh really?" said the lifeguard, "from the diving board!?!?"
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

What do young ghosts call their parents? Deady and Mummy.
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next Twenty-four years telling them to sit down and shut up!
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

"Can I go outside and watch the solar eclipse?" asked Rupert. "Okay," replied his father, "but don't stand too close."
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes