Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are.
Author: Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion.
Author: G. K. Chesterton

It takes a long time to bring excellence to maturity.
Author: Publilius Syrus

The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.
Author: A. A. Milne

I wonder what it means when your grandson is more crotchety than you are.
Author: Aaron McGruder

A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes

Two police officers saw this old woman staggering down the street, stopping her they can tell she has had far too much to drink and instead of taking her to jail they decide to just drive her home. They loaded her into the police cruiser one of the officers gets in the back with the drunk woman. As they drove through the streets they kept asking the woman where she lived, all she would say as she stroked the officers arm is "Your Passionate" They drove awhile longer and asked again, again the same response as she stroked his arm "Your Passionate". The officers were getting a little upset so they stopped the car and said to the woman, Look we have driven around this City for two hours and you still haven't told us where you live. She replied I keep trying to tell you: "Your Passin It!"
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes

An eighty year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctor's office, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down, making notes to help them remember things. The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?" He replied, "To the kitchen." She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" "Sure." Then his wife asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" "No, I can remember that." "Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had bett er write that down cause I know you'll forget that," his wife said. "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries." She replied, "Well, I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that. You had better write it down." With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down, I can remember that." He went into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said, "You forgot my toast."
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes

One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman. Angry, she became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their apartment, killing him instantly. When brought before the court on charges of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say to defend herself. "Well, Your Honor," she replied coolly. "I figured that at 92, if he could make love to another woman, he could fly!"
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes