The time is now, the place is here. Stay in the present. You can do nothing to change the past, and the future will never come exactly as you plan or hope for.
Author: Dan Millman

The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively but says nothing.
Author: Henry S. Haskins

The town where I grew up has a zip code of E-I-E-I-O.
Author: Martin Mull

The trick is to make sure you don't die waiting for prosperity to come.
Author: Lee Iacocca

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
Author: Franklin P. Jones

Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies. They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes

An American tourist found himself in a sleepy country village, and asked one of the locals the age of the oldest inhabitant. "Well, sir," replied the villager, "we ain't got one now. He died last week."
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes

My grandma has so many wrinkles she has to screw her hat on.
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes

Do you think my skin is starting to show its age?" "I can't tell. There are too many wrinkles."
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes

One day, a grandpa and his grandson go golfing. The young one is really good and the old one is just giving him tips. They are on hole 8 and there is a tree in the way and the grandpa says, "When I was your age, I would hit the ball right over that tree." So, the grandson hits the ball and it bumps against the tree and lands not to far from where it started. "Of course," added the grandpa, "when I was your age, the tree was only 3 feet tall."
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes