The summit of happiness is reached when a person is ready to be what he is.
Author: Desiderius Erasmus

I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. For one thing, there's morning sickness. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to acheive that state the old fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.
Author: Ellen DeGeneres

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
Author: Doug Larson

The tendinous part of the mind, so to speak, is more developed in winter; the fleshy, in summer. I should say winter had given the bone and sinew to literature, summer the tissues and the blood.
Author: John Burroughs

Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are.
Author: Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

Q: How do you get a clarinet player to play louder? A: You can't!
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: How do you know if there is a drummer at your door? A: The knocking always speeds up.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Knock Knock Who's there ! Beethoven ! Beethoven who ? Beethoven is too hot !
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Why did they arrest the musician? He got into treble.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

Q: What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin? A: You get light music.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes