Best quotes to send by SMS
Aaron McGruder I wonder what it means when your grandson is more crotchety than you are.
Author: Aaron McGruder

Erica Jong The trick is not how much pain you feel - but how much joy you feel. Any idiot can feel pain. Life is full of excuses to feel pain, excuses not to live, excuses, excuses, excuses.
Author: Erica Jong

Willem de Kooning The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time.
Author: Willem de Kooning

Terry Pratchett The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
Author: Terry Pratchett

General John Stark Live Free Or Die; Death Is Not The Worst Of Evils.
Author: General John Stark

The best jokes to send by SMS
Old age jokes A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes

Parent jokes For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine of the children. She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation on her grandchildren. "Oh, I've done all the talking, and I'm so sorry. I know you certainly have something to say. Please, tell me... what do you think of my grandchildren?"
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

Parent jokes There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma. Her husband was away on business, and unable to be reached. While in the coma, she gave birth to her twins, and the only person around to name her children was her brother. When the mother came out of her coma to find she had given birth and that her brother had named the twins, she became very worried, because he wasn't a very bright guy. She was sure he had named them something absurd or stupid. When she saw her brother she asked him about the twins. He said, "The first one was a girl." The mother: "What did you name her?!?" Brother: "Denise!" The Mom: "Oh, wow, that's not bad! What about the second one?" Brother: "The second one was a boy." The Mom: "Oh, and what did you name him?" Brother: "Denephew."
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

Parent jokes The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool. "Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool." "Oh really?" said the lifeguard, "from the diving board!?!?"
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

Parent jokes What do young ghosts call their parents? Deady and Mummy.
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes