The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just take it.
Author: Roseanne Barr

The time is now, the place is here. Stay in the present. You can do nothing to change the past, and the future will never come exactly as you plan or hope for.
Author: Dan Millman

The time to stop talking is when the other person nods his head affirmatively but says nothing.
Author: Henry S. Haskins

The town where I grew up has a zip code of E-I-E-I-O.
Author: Martin Mull

The trick is to make sure you don't die waiting for prosperity to come.
Author: Lee Iacocca

A little Italian grandfather comes up to Customs. The Customs official says, "Have you got anything to declare?" He thinks a second and he says, "It's a nice-a day!"
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes

Two really old guys decided they would go out and try to play a round of golf together. They get on the first tee and the first old guy says to the second, "My eyesight isn't what it used to be. Can you watch my ball for me?". The second guy says, "Sure! I see fine. Go ahead and hit." So the first old man steps up to the tee and really hits it. He turns to his buddy and says, "Did you see it?". "Sure!", says his buddy. "Where did it go?", the first guy asks. The second old man thinks for a minute and says, "I can't remember."
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes

Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies. They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes

An American tourist found himself in a sleepy country village, and asked one of the locals the age of the oldest inhabitant. "Well, sir," replied the villager, "we ain't got one now. He died last week."
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes

My grandma has so many wrinkles she has to screw her hat on.
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes