The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.
Author: Robert Heinlein

In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary.
Author: Wendy Magruder

I'm struck by the insidious, computer-driven tendency to take things out of the domain of muscular activity and put them into the domain of mental activity. The transfer is not paying off. Sure, muscles are unreliable, but they represent several million y
Author: Brian Eno

Lady you bereft me of all words, Only my blood speaks to you in my veins, And there is such confusion in my powers.
Author: William Shakespeare

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
Author: Roseanne Barr

Do you think, Professor, that my wife should take up the piano as a career? No, I think she should put down the lid as a favor.
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

1st man: "My neighbors were screaming and yelling at three o'clock this morning!" 2nd man: "Did they wake you?" 1st man: "Nah....I was up playing my bagpipes."
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

How do you make a bandstand? Take away their chairs
This is the joke from a category: Music jokes

An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales. "Bloomingdales!" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Bloomingdales?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes

Worried because they hadn't heard anything for days from the widow in the neighboring apartment, Mrs. Silver said to her son, "Timmy, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Kirkland is?" A few minutes later, Timmy returned. "Well," asked Mrs. Silver, "is she all right?" "She's fine, except that she's angry at you." "At me?" the woman exclaimed. "Whatever for?" "She said 'It's none of your business how old she is,'" snickered Timmy.
This is the joke from a category: Old age jokes