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First they came for the Communists but I was not a Communist so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Socialists and the Trade Unionists but I was not one of them, so I did not speak out. Then they came for the Jews but I was not Jewish so I did not
Author: Martin Niemoeller

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.
Author: Josh Billings

Folks who never do any more than they are paid for, never get paid more than they do.
Author: Elbert Hubbard

Food is our common ground, a universal experience.
Author: James Beard

Football is a mistake. It combines the two worst elements of American life. Violence and committee meetings.
Author: George F. Will

Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor. The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit. Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor. This tailor measured Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and said, "There is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a vest, please come back in a week to take your suit." After a week Abraham came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor's son wearing trousers made of the same cloth. Perplexed, he asked, "Just how could you make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when the other tailor could not make a suit only?" "It's very simple," replied the tailor, "The other tailor has two sons."
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

How many cashiers does it take to change a light bulb? "Are you kidding? They won't even change a five dollar bill."
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

Why was the racehorse named Bad News? Because bad news travels fast!
This is the joke from a category: Horse jokes

How many tax advisors does it take to change a light bulb? "In the summer there is a tax deductible convention in Hawaii, dealing exactly with this issue."
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes

Once there was a millionaire who had a collection of live alligators. He kept them in a pool at the back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day, he decides to throw a huge party. During the party he announces, "My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!" As soon as he finishes his last word, there is the sound of a large splash. The guests all turn to see a man in the pool swimming as fast as he can. They cheer him on as he keeps stroking. Finally, the swimming man makes it to the other side unharmed. The millionaire is so impressed, e says, "My boy, that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn't think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain. Which do you want, my daughter or the one million dollars?" The man says, "Listen, I don't want your money. I don't want your daughter, either. I want the person who pushed me in that water!"
This is the joke from a category: Humor jokes