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How use doth breed a habit in a man.
Author: William Shakespeare

Humanity is composed but of two categories, the invalids and the nurses.
Author: Richard Brinsley Sheridan

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
Author: Fran Lebowitz

Humor is a rubber sword--it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Author: Mary Hirsch

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist.
Author: Tammy Faye Bakker

The head doctors in an insane asylum had a meeting and decided that one of their patients was potentially well. So they decide to test him and take him to the movies. When they get to the movie theater, there are signs of wet paint pointing to the benches. The doctors just sit down, but the patient puts a newspaper down first and then sits down. The doctors get all excited cause they think maybe he's in touch with reality now. So they ask him, " Why did you put the newspaper down first?" He answers, "So I'd be higher and have a better view."
This is the joke from a category: Mental health jokes

Patient: Doctor, I get the feeling that people don't give a hoot about anything I say. Psychiatrist: So?
This is the joke from a category: Mental health jokes

How many Dependent P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? None, he's still clinging to the old lightbulb.
This is the joke from a category: Mental health jokes

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office. "Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck." "Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to dry."
This is the joke from a category: Mental health jokes

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half. Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet. The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?" The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing. Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb." The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red. The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself" Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"
This is the joke from a category: Mental health jokes