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I cannot tell what the dickens his name is.
Author: William Shakespeare

I celebrate myself, and sing myself.
Author: Walt Whitman

I consider it useless and tedious to represent what exists, because nothing that exists satisfies me. Nature is ugly, and I prefer the monsters of my fancy to what is positively trivial.
Author: Charles Baudelaire

I could prove God statistically.
Author: George Gallup

I do not know what I may appear to the world; but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay
Author: Isaac Newton

Q: How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: WHAT?
This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes

Q: How many absurdist/surrealist comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: November.
This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes

After a difficult day a struggling actor returns to his neighborhood and is shocked to find a cadre of police and fire trucks surrounding the smoldering remains of his house. Explaining who he was he asks "What happened?" "Well," one of the officer's says, "It seems that your agent came by your house earlier today and while he was here he attacked your wife, assaulted your children, beat your dog and burned your house to the ground." The actor is struck speechless, his jaw hanging open in disbelief... "My agent came to my house?"
This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes

Why was the actor pleased to be on the gallows? Because at last he was in the noose.
This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes

A bit-part actor finally got his first leading role in a major film. In one scene the actor had to jump off a high diving board in to a swimming pool. He climed to the top of the board, looked down and promptly climbed down again. `What's the matter?' asked the director. `I can't jump from that board!' said the actor. `Do you know there's only one foot of water in that pool?' 'Yes,' said the director. `We don't want you to drown, you know.'
This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes