Best Cell Phones

I think people don't place a high enough value on how much they are nurtured by doing whatever it is that totally absorbs them.
Author: Jean Shinoda Bolen

I think that freshness and that innocence is something that is missing from a lot of female singers. I'm certainly not denying that I'm young, but I'm not fluff.
Author: Jessica Simpson

Howard Hughes was able to afford the luxury of madness, like a man who not only thinks he is Napoleon but hires an army to prove it.
Author: Ted Morgan

I used to believe that marriage would diminish me, reduce my options. That you had to be someone less to live with someone else when, of course, you have to be someone more.
Author: Candice Bergen

I usually approach things with the idea that I will take something out of everything I do.
Author: Heather Armstrong

Mrs. Ellis came home from work one evening to find her three-year-old son lighting up a cigar. She raced into the kitchen where her husband was making dinner. "Hey!" she announced. "This is terrible! I just caught Matthew lighting a cigar!" "You put a stop to that right now," he shouted. "That kid is altogether too young to be playing with matches!"
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

Boy: Dad, Dad, come out. My sister's fighting this ten foot gargoyle with three heads. Dad: No, I'm not coming out. She's going to have to learn to look after herself.
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

Pride is what you feel when your kids net $143 from a garage sale. Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing.
This is the joke from a category: Parent jokes

Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for mother's day? What did they do? They threw a sowprize party.
This is the joke from a category: Pig jokes

Do pigs like Backgammon? No, they prefer their backs scratched.
This is the joke from a category: Pig jokes