Best quotes to send by SMS
Cheris Kramarae Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.
Author: Cheris Kramarae

George Washington Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.
Author: George Washington

Samuel Johnson Few things are impossible to diligence and skill. Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance.
Author: Samuel Johnson

J. Hart Fig Newton: The force required to accelerate a fig 39.37 inches per sec.
Author: J. Hart

Confucius Fine words and an insinuating appearance are seldom associated with true virtue.
Author: Confucius

The best jokes to send by SMS
Farmer jokes A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large". Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows". The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those"? The Aussie asks with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes

Farmer jokes Q: Why did the farmer call his pig "Ink"? A: Because it was always running out of the pen.
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes

Farmer jokes A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast. The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!" He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons. The farmer returns to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads: "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes

Farmer jokes Liam had left Dublin to go up to Belfast for a bit of skydiving, Late Sunday evening he was found in tree by a farmer. What happened said the farmer, Liam replied, that his parachute failed to open, well said the farmer if you had of asked the locals before you jumped, they would have told you nothing opens here on a Sunday.
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes

Farmer jokes A farm boy was drafted. On his first furlough, his Father asked him what he thought of Army life. "It's pretty good Pa. The food's not bad, the work's easy but best of all, they let ya sleep real late in the morning."
This is the joke from a category: Farmer jokes