The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.
Author: Mark Twain

The real distinction is between those who adapt their purposes to reality and those who seek to mold reality in the light of their purposes.
Author: Henry Kissinger

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.
Author: Marcel Proust

The reason we all like to think so well of others is that we are all afraid for ourselves. The basis of optimism is sheer terror.
Author: Oscar Wilde

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
Author: George Bernard Shaw

FRED MONSTER: My sister must be twenty. I counted the rings under her eyes. BERT MONSTER: That's nothing. My sister's tongue is so long, she can lick an envelope after she's posted it.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

MRS MONSTER TO MR MONSTER: Try to be nice to my mother when she visits us this weekend, dear. Fall down when she hits you.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

What do they have for lunch at Monster School? Human beans, boiled legs, pickled bunions and eyes-cream.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

Little monster: Mom I've finished. Can I leave the table? Mommy monster: Yes, I'll save it for your tea.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

Waiter on ocean liner: Would you like the menu, sir? Monster: No thanks, just bring me the passenger list.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes