The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.
Author: Kin Hubbard

The scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Author: Confucius

The scornful nostril and the high head gather not the odors that lie on the track of truth.
Author: George Eliot

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Author: Niels Bohr

The secret of happiness is to make others believe they are the cause of it.
Author: Al Batt

Q: How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes

Q: How can you tell the dumbest actress working on a movie? A: She's the one sleeping with the writer.
This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes

The producer of a low budget film is trying to convince the newly hired director of the quality of the work by telling him the big names they've gotten for the cast. "First of all," he tells him, "We've got Gibson in the lead." The director is surprised, "You got Mel Gibson?" "Well, no," the Producer responds, "we got Marvin Gibson, he's a distant cousin who lives in Queens, but he's very up and coming. And besides, we've also got Redford." "You got Robert Redford?" the director asks. "No, we got Jeremy Redford, but he's very talented and has lots of acting experience from years of dinner theater. But," he says enthusiastically, " we've got Streisand and in a singing role." "Barbara Streisand?" he asks. "No, Elizabeth Streisand." The Producer responds. "But she's got a great voice. AND we've got Goulet." "You got Robert Goulet?" the director asks. "Yeah," the producer replies glumly, "we got Robert Goulet."
This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes

An actor went to see a new agent one day and said, `You must have a look at my act, it really is innovative.' So saying, he flew up to the ceiling, circled the room a few times and landed smoothly on the agent's desk. `So you do bird impressions,' said the agent, `what else can you do?'
This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes

Why do actors like snooker halls? Because that's where they get their best cues.
This is the joke from a category: Movie and TV jokes