The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it.
Author: George Orwell

The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change; until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.
Author: R. D. Laing

The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose.
Author: William Cowper

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it is too much trouble to put makeup on two faces.
Author: Maureen Murphy

The reason why so few good books are written is that so few people who can write know anything.
Author: Walter Bagehot

An enormous monster with eight arms and eleven legs walked into a tailors shop. 'Quick!' shouted the tailor to his assistant. 'Hide the "Free Alterations" sign!'
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

What do you get if you cross a bird with a monstrous snarl? A budgerigrrrrr!
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

What do you get if you cross a monster with a flea? Lots of very worried dogs.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

What is a monster's favourite drink? Demonade.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

MONSTER MOTHER: How many times have I told you not to eat with your fingers? Use the spade like everyone else.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes