The proof that man is the noblest of all creatures is that no other creature has ever denied it.
Author: Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

The Puritans gave thanks for being preserved from the Indians, and we give thanks for being preserved from the Puritans.
Author: Finley Peter Dunne

The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage.
Author: J. Jacques

The reading of all good books is indeed like a conversation with the noblest men of past centuries who were the authors of them, nay a carefully studied conversation, in which they reveal to us none but the best of their thoughts.
Author: Rene Descartes

People vote their resentment, not their appreciation. The average man does not vote for anything, but against something.
Author: William Bennet Munro

The monster spent a fortune on deodorants before he found out that people didn't like him anyway.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

Why did the monster put the cake in the freezer? Because he had been told to ice it.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

Girl Monster 1: "I hear you've met the perfect guy." Girl Monster 2: "Oh yes, he's a bad dream come true!"
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

What did the monster say to the Thanksgiving turkey? "Pleased to eat you!"
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

What's the difference between a monster and a mouse? A monster makes bigger holes in the skirting board.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes