People vote their resentment, not their appreciation. The average man does not vote for anything, but against something.
Author: William Bennet Munro

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
Author: Jay Leno

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
Author: Noel Coward

The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good.
Author: Robert Graves

If any thing is sacred the human body is sacred.
Author: Walt Whitman

Little monster: Mom, why can't we have dustbins like everyone else? Mother monster: Less talking, more eating please.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

Why did the monster paint himself in rainbow colors? Because he wanted to hide in the crayon box.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

What happened when the monster stole a bottle of perfume? He was convicted of fragrancy.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

Why did the monster take a dead man for a drive in his car? Because he was a car-case.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

What was the inscription on the tomb of Frankenstein's monster? HERE LIES FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER. MAY HE REST IN PIECES.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes