Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
Author: G. K. Chesterton

The question is not, can they reason? Nor, can they talk? But, can they suffer?
Author: Jeremy Bentham

The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.
Author: Mark Twain

The real distinction is between those who adapt their purposes to reality and those who seek to mold reality in the light of their purposes.
Author: Henry Kissinger

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.
Author: Marcel Proust

What's the difference between a dim monster and a birthday candle? The candle is a thousand times brighter!
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

Why is stupid monster like a jack-o'-lantern? They both have empty heads.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner? He was exceeding the feed limit!
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

Where do space monsters live? In far distant terror-tory.
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes

'Here's a good book,' said the sales assistant in the book shop to Mrs Monster. 'How To Help Your Husband Get Ahead.' 'No, thank you,' said Mrs Monster. 'My husband's got two heads already. . .'
This is the joke from a category: Monster jokes