Best Cell Phones

I don't think of the past. The only thing that matters is the everlasting present.
Author: W. Somerset Maugham

I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. It must stand for: 'Ohhh my God, you're thin.'
Author: Ellen DeGeneres

I don't want to be known as the granddaughter of the Hiltons. I want to be known as Paris.
Author: Paris Hilton

I feel sorry for people who do not drink. When they wake up in the morning it is as good as they are going to feel all day.
Author: Frank Sinatra

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.
Author: John Cleese

What's a man idea of helping with the housework? Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

Now do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

There are a lot of words you can use to describe men: strong, caring, loving. They'd be wrong, but you could still use them.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes