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I don't think the money people in Hollywood have ever thought I was normal, but I am dedicated to my work and that's what counts.
Author: Angelina Jolie

I don't want someone shoving his views down my throat, unless they're covered in a crunchy candy shell.
Author: Stephen Colbert

I dote on his very absence.
Author: William Shakespeare

I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.
Author: William H. Mauldin

I felt like poisoning a monk.
Author: Umberto Eco

What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About Women.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower? A widower.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, skepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband. "A penny for your thoughts," she said. "It's amazing!" he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $46.50."
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?" "Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy." "Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples." "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you." "What's a 'man', Lord?" "This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger and faster and more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack." "Sounds g reat," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. "Yeah, well. He's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But, you can have him on one condition." "What's that, Lord?" "You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes

Q. Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, a good lover and a stimulating partner? A. In the pages of a romance novel.
This is the joke from a category: Men jokes