The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
Author: Mark Twain

It's always helpful to learn from your mistakes because then your mistakes seem worthwhile.
Author: Garry Marshall

The finest qualities of our nature, like the bloom on fruits, can be preserved only by the most delicate handling. Yet we do not treat ourselves nor one another thus tenderly.
Author: Henry David Thoreau

The first duty of a leader is to make himself be loved without courting love. To be loved without 'playing up' to anyone - even to himself.
Author: Andre Malraux

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.
Author: Clarence Darrow

A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven, but not at all happy with his accommodations. He complained to St. Peter, who told him that his only recourse was to appeal his assignment. The lawyer immediately advised that he intended to appeal, but was then told that he would be waiting at least three years before his appeal could be heard. The lawyer protested that a three-year wait was unconscionable, but his words fell on deaf ears. The lawyer was then approached by the devil, who told him that he would be able to arrange an appeal to be heard in a few days, if the lawyer was willing to change venue to Hell. The lawyer asked: "Why can appeals be heard so much sooner in Hell?" The devil answered: "We have all of the judges."
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes

It seems that a lawyer had a little bit too much to drink and on his way home rear-ended the car in front of him. The lawyer got out of his car, walked over to the driver of the other car and said, "Boy, are you in trouble. I'm a lawyer!" The driver looked out his window and said, "No, you're in trouble. I'm a judge."
This is the joke from a category: Judge jokes

How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's twisted it? With a monkey wrench.
This is the joke from a category: King Kong jokes

What's brown and furry on the inside and clear on the outside? King Kong in clingfilm
This is the joke from a category: King Kong jokes

What business is King Kong in? Monkey business.
This is the joke from a category: King Kong jokes