In the modern world the intelligence of public opinion is the one indispensable condition for social progress.
Author: Charles W. Eliot

Living is having ups and downs and sharing them with friends.
Author: Trey Parker and Matt Stone

The eternal silence of these infinite spaces fills me with dread.
Author: Blaise Pascal

Know most of the rooms of thy native country before thou goest over the threshold thereof.
Author: Thomas Fuller

The fact is, the old clichs work for us in abstract terms, but they never work out in real life quite the same way. Life is messy; clichs are clean and tidy.
Author: Hugh Macleod

Who looks after the EuroDisney website? Mick e-mouse.
This is the joke from a category: Internet jokes

A shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively. "Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a journalist and I've got an assignment to study how people respond to embarrassing situations." To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"
This is the joke from a category: Journalist jokes

How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb? "We just report the facts, we don't change them." Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a light bulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place.
This is the joke from a category: Journalist jokes

Reporter: My editor sent me to do the burglary. Policeman: You're too late - it's already been done.
This is the joke from a category: Journalist jokes

What do you get if you cross a sports reporter with a vegetable ? A common tater !
This is the joke from a category: Journalist jokes